Self-command is the main elegance. Ralph Waldo Emerson
A thick skin is a gift from God. Conrad Adenauer
Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people. Richard Armour
We know people who are ‘thin-skinned’. They easily get upset due to something someone has said or done. They are easily offended and are like puppets on a string; at the mercies of other’s actions more so than their own. Easily provoked, they often over-react to such a degree, they are all but out of control. Those suffering from “thin-skinned syndrome” hurt themselves and adversely affect their relationships with friends and loved ones. They are miserable, suffering from resentment and brood over things that were done to them.
They cannot easily forgive and forget; are hard to be around and equally hard to live with. They have not learned they are not responsible for the actions of others, but are responsible for their own reactions. They have not learned and mastered self control, being free to choose ‘to what and how’ they respond to and how they react. They are not in control and are being controlled, like Pavlov’s dogs salivating to the sound of a bell.
When something happens that causes us to be upset, offended or annoyed, we should be able to thoughtfully choose an appropriate response. When we respond in a thin skinned manner, we are being weak and self-centered; responding more from our lower, instinctive nature than from a more evolved and disciplined manner. Higher level responses are a result of rationally and objectively thinking though what has happened. Rather than losing our cool, we are able to control our reaction and respond appropriately. Many of us have been guilty of thin skinned reactions in the past; responding and reacting in inappropriate ways.
The thin skinned have problems with self-esteem and lack a healthy self image. They are unsure of themselves and may have other self-inadequacies. Being thin skinned and quick to lose our temper are kissing cousins to each other. Both maladies are rooted in various self-issues, such as, self-love, self-respect and self-control.
We need to develop an inner strength that insulates us from being thin-skinned and allows us to objectively evaluate what has happened, how to respond, and then to respond in a cool, calm, and collected manner. If we can learn to feel relatively good about ourselves, we will become much less sensitive to criticism, sarcasm, and offensive remarks. We will have better relationships and find the world a more enjoyable place to be. Do not be thin-skinned.
Challenge: Does ‘thin skinned’ apply to you? If so, it requires committing to work on your self-issues. You have weakness and vulnerabilities causing and permitting thin-skinned reactions. Self-improvement requires building a good self image. It requires knowing and accepting yourself with all your good and bad. Once you can love yourself as worthwhile, you start making daily progress. This gives a solid foundation to build on.
Wisdom: He that reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king. John Milton
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
We were not designed to be God-less. God helps and leads us to become the beautiful creation he designed us to be. Without him, we will always be limited, inadequate, fallible, and incomplete. We will not like the person inside us and will have numerous self-issue problems. This comes back to love. God loves us as a perfect parent. He will help us to learn to love ourselves. When we can do this, we will begin to see our lives blossom.
Prayer: Help me to be able to deal with all of the “self-issues” in my life.