It’s All About Me

St. Louis the CrusaderSelfishness, egotism, only able to see things from one’s own perspective

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness. Napoleon Hill

Selfishness is that detestable vice which no one will forgive in others, and no one is without in himself.  Henry Ward Beecher

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

     Most of us can relate to “It’s all about me!” The older we get the more we can identify with the need to care about others and to reach out to them. Those that are truly honest come closer to admitting to their own difficulties with selfishness, egotism, and all the baggage that goes along with these issues.

    If the world was less selfish, would we have less poverty? Would we have a better society, a more caring and loving world in which to live? We can speculate about this ad infinitum. There is no doubt there is too much selfishness. Less of it would be good. If we were more caring, loving, and generous then there is much reason to believe that the world would be much better. What is there about the human condition that causes us to be so selfish, conceited, egotistical, and to be driven by “me” instead of “we” or “you”?

   At the root of the problem is the self image, the self concept. It is the “me” that is inside. Some of us are secure and comfortable with who and where we are. Others are insecure and have poor self images. For all extents and purposes many do not like themselves. Everything is based on the “me” perspective. Because of this they cannot get past thinking about themselves and how things affect them in all that they say and do. It is very difficult for them to think about the needs of others when they are concentrating so hard to make themselves feel okay and to fit in. Their sensitivities are mostly directed inward instead of outward.

    On the other hand, those that are more self-secure are able to look outward instead of inward. They do not feel threatened or afraid from their daily demands and personal interactions. Because their basic needs are being satisfied they get past their own needs and can be concerned about the needs of others. 

    It is part of the maturation process for children to learn to get past “it is all about me”. Adults who predominantly think about themselves are immature and insecure. They have issues with feeling worthy of being loved by others. It is good for us to do things for others with no strings attached. Until we can get past “it’s all about me” we have a ways to go before we are truly mature.

Challenge: Always be conscious of your motives when doing something for someone else. It is good to be aware of how much you use “I” versus “we” or “you” in conversations. How often to you think of another person’s needs or concerns before thinking of your own. All these are indications of where you are coming from when it comes to your sense of security and well-being. Do you have some self image issues that need addressing?

Wisdom: The human being who lives only for himself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness. Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies. Don’t put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others. B.C. Forbes

Spiritual: (NIV)

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:11

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor. Proverbs 22:9

It is about having love in our hearts. In order to truly love others, we have to be secure with who and what we are. We are then able to be sensitive to the needs of others. We are able to get past “me”.  When we begin to fathom how great God’s love is for each and every one of us, we begin to increasingly feel worthy of being able to love ourselves. Then we can increasingly reach out and love others as well.

Prayer: Help me to really learn to love. 

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