Half of the ills we hoard within our hearts, are ills because we hoard them. Edna Dean Proctor
Time will cure you, but now your grief is still young. Euripedes.
Grief won’t kill you, but it will knock you off your feet. Russian Proverb
The experience of grief is one of the more painful things life requires of us. Our heart aches, the weight of the world is upon us and it is hard to anticipate going forward. The greater the loss, the more intense the grief .No two of us grieve in the same way. Some are prone to experience grief outward and painfully; others are more inward and introspective. Our most intense grief comes from the loss of a loved one. We must experience our own grief and in our own way, it is not something someone can do for us. It is a part of our human condition.
Learning to handle grief is a part of our growth process and a necessary right of passage to maturity as a human being. We often get very attached to specific things and especially to other human beings such as parents, spouses, children and friends. They are an integral part of our lives. Each time we lose one to death, it is like we have lost a part of our very existence. It is hard for us to think of life going forward without this person being an integral part of it. This is an aspect of our human experience in which we are totally alone. We can be very dependent upon others but only to a degree. That special relationship we have with others is an external relationship; it is vulnerable and finite and can be taken from us at any time. As human beings, we have to learn to go on in our lives when we lose one of these special relationships. Some are never able to do this. Sometimes a senior who has spent forty, fifty or even more years with their spouse, passes away soon after the fist spouse dies. They have become so dependent they do not have a sufficient will to live after the first one departs.
In some respects, grief is very selfish. We are saddened and troubled because of the anguish we feel over what the loss means and will mean to us. We feel deprived and threatened because of our loss. There will be a void in our lives not easily replaced. The passage of time is an able healer. We must leave the past behind, and go forward. We must replace the loss with new experiences and perhaps new relationships. Our lives must go on.
Challenge: You have survived such things as learning to ride a bike, drive a car, getting an education, learn a profession, having a marriage and a family, and a long list of life’s learning experiences. Experiencing grief and growing through it is another one of life’s requirements. It is a part of your maturation. You are incomplete until you experience this. “No pain, no gain” reminds us pain is a part of life’s process. It refines and teaches us.
Wisdom: There is no grief which time does not lessen. Servius Sulpicius Rufus.
Where, O death, is your victory: Where O death, is your sting? 1 Corinthians 15:55
I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death. John 8:51
He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces. Isaiah 25:8
The fear of death is one of our greatest fears. Losing someone to death reminds us of our frailness and fragility. To many it is a reminder of our finiteness. Many believe that this life is but a small and incremental step to a permanent and everlasting existence at a much higher level than this one. This Bible tells us this life is meant to prepare us for the next. God wants us to spend eternity with him. He is always there to show us the way.
Prayer: Help me to keep my eyes, my heart, and my mind on you. Your strength is my sufficiency.