Clydesdale HorsesThe ability and understanding to be enabled to love one’s self unconditionally

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Carl G Jung

Know yourself. Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Ann Landers        

The greatest magnifying glasses in the world are a man’s own eyes when they look upon his own person. Alexander Pope

 Our ability to truly love others is dependent upon our ability to first love ourselves. We have yet to totally understand the importance and crucial nature that healthy self-love has on well-balanced and adjusted lives. It is a very important issue to healthy living. It is so hard to have healthy love of others if we do first love ourselves.

Self-love often seems to be too “much” or too “little”. If we are deficient, we will be maladjusted and have difficulties with self-esteem and self-acceptance. Too much self-love puts us into the realm of narcissism, conceit, arrogance and even “delusions of grandeur”. Without a healthy balance, we will have some problem functioning. The psychology of this gets deep and complicated. A good way to look at self-love is that it is basic self-relationship ongoing maintenance and proper balancing that requires a very high level of our attention.

We all need to feel loved. Equally, we need to be able to love others. Being unable to love ourselves at the most basic level, it becomes difficult for us to love others in a healthy and well-balanced manner. Simply, if we are unable to love our self as we should, we have a deficient foundation upon which to build a healthy and well-functioning “personhood”. A poorly built house continues to cause problems until those problems are remedied. Our well-being will have its share of ongoing problems if it is not “built” upon on a solid foundation of self-love, self-esteem and other basic balanced “self-needs”.

The problems associated with lacking self-love go very deep; the greater the problem, the more likely there will be serious mental health problems. This is at the core of many individual’s problems with daily living.

A healthy sense of self-love should “parallel” the love we feel for our loved ones; family and friends. We know their faults, idiosyncrasies, warts and blemishes, yet we love them. Ideally, we love them “unconditionally”. It needs to be the same for ourselves. We can accept others and love them for all they are; the good and the bad. We should love ourselves similarly. In order to grow and develop our true potential, a proper use of self-love is absolutely essential. If we develop healthy self-love, we are on solid ground. Learning to live with ourselves objectively and “lovingly” allows us to become effective as our own self-coach, teacher, advisor, and mentor.

Challenge:  Can you love yourself? Can this be a reason for some difficulties with some relationships, work and basic living? It is greatly worth your time and best effort to deal with any issues that are preventing you from having a healthy sense of self-love. You will always be less than perfect, but you are truly worthy of your own love and acceptance. It is a very basic need and a basic right “to be loved”. “Love” starts with loving yourself.

Wisdom: If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself. Barbara De Angelis

Spiritual: (NIV)

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Love can make the world go around. A lack of love in the world causes the world to be sickly. We need love just like we need food and water. We can physically survive without it, but we will be defective and ineffective in our ability to be well-balanced. Love is a very necessary ingredient. God is love. He loves us. His love is unconditional. He loves us so much, He died on the cross. God’s love is available to all. We absolutely need it.


Prayer:  Help me to grasp and understand your love. Help me to love myself in a healthy way. Help me to love.


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