Self-Pity

SI ExifPity for oneself, especially exaggerated or self-indulgent: overly self-sorrow

Practically all the sadness we experience in life comes from our feeling sorry for ourselves.  Marty Rubin

Almost all sadness comes from feeling sorry for oneself.  Marty Rubin

Self-pity is our worst enemy. Helen Keller

  Self-pity” can be described as feeling sorry for one’s self or “wallowing in our own misery”. Bad things do happen, our lives get disrupted and turned upside down. We do not know how we are going to get through or even survive some of the ordeals confronting us. Life has no “Money Back Guarantee.”

There is no assurance we will not suffer misfortune. The nature of life is: we are conceived, are born, live, and then die. In one sense, we had no choice in being here. We Happened; having little control over much of what happens to us. We experience, cope, adapt and learn. We make choices and survive, sometimes just barely.

We are equipped with intelligence and are capable of learning to make the most of our life’s experiences. Life is like an obstacle course with challenges always confronting us. Sometimes they go smoothly; sometimes they go hay wire. One measure of how successful we may or may not be, is how we cope when things do not go well. This is where “self-pity” come in. The ideal is we experience our misfortunes, look for the lessons to be learned, be thankful for what there is to be thankful for (it could have been worse, others have it much worse); pick ourselves up; put our first step forward; and begin again.

When we fall down, we have two choices: We can get back up or can lay there and experience “self-pity”. There is growth and some success is getting up. Some people never really get up after they fall down. They are defeated!!! They have lost!! Sometimes, our misfortunes are very severe, it is hard to get back up. We want to lie there and cry “Why Me?”  The biblical character “Job” is a classic example of one who had every conceivable thing possible, happen to him, yet persevered and triumphed.

Things do happen. We can act or can react. Things that happen are our “stimulus” and then we “react”. It is so hard for us to see ourselves objectively; we are the characters in our own life’s play. If we could observe ourselves and how we respond to life’s issues, perhaps we would have better and keener insights into how we react to our difficulties. There is nothing to be gained in “self-pity”. We must respond to life’s problems with a sense of resilience and intestinal fortitude.

Challenge:  Be on the alert for bouts of “self-pity”. Often, they are so hard to avoid. It is very difficult to not feel sorry for yourself. That’s okay! However, the key is to minimize its hold on us. If necessary, allow yourself to experience it, but then get on with your life. Always be aware of your reactions to life’s difficulties, picking yourself up and getting yourself going forward as quickly as possible. Learn what there is to learn from such experiences and then get going again.

Wisdom: In times of suffering, don’t turn inward to self-pity or outward to revenge, but turn to the lover of your soul, Jesus. Crystal Lindsey

Spiritual: (NIV):

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect an entire, wanting nothing.  James 1:3, 4

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:36

We are not promised that life will be a bed of roses. Quite the contrary, life will be filled with trials and tribulations. Many of our difficulties are self-induced, others happen to us due to no fault of our own. Life’s difficulties cannot be avoided. They are all but guaranteed. We can choose to take on life on our own and by ourselves, or we can take on life the way we were designed to. We have a God who loves us and will help us.

Prayer:  Help me to use this day wisely and help me to grow.

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